Parent Kicked Out of Assisted Living? What to Do Next

Lilisity · October 26, 2026

If assisted living or memory care says your parent has to leave, ask for the notice in writing, with the reason and the move-out date. Then call your state's Long-Term Care Ombudsman. The call is free, and problems with a community, including move-out notices, are part of what ombudsmen handle.

You usually have more time and more options than the first phone call makes it sound. Assisted living move-outs follow state rules, and those rules differ from state to state. Nursing homes follow federal rules that require written notice, usually 30 days ahead, and give the resident the right to appeal. The steps below help in both cases.

This is general information, not legal advice. For your parent's situation, talk with the ombudsman or an elder law attorney.

First, get the notice in writing

Even if the news came by phone, ask the executive director for a written notice that includes:

• The reason your parent is being asked to leave
• The date they expect the move to happen
• The assessment, care plan or incident reports behind the decision
• How to appeal or ask for a review, if the state or the contract allows one

You can say:

"I understand you're worried about her. Please send me the notice in writing, with the reason, the date and the assessment it's based on. I'd also like a copy of her current care plan."

Then read the residency agreement your parent signed at move-in, especially the sections on discharge, notice and grievances. Keep notes of every call: who you spoke with, the date and what they said.

Ask what changed and what would let her stay

Communities usually give notice because they believe they can no longer care for someone safely. Common reasons include aggression toward staff or other residents, leaving the building unsafely, needing two people to help with transfers, needing medical care the community's license doesn't allow, and unpaid bills.

Each reason is worth a direct question. Ask:

• "What exactly happened, and when?"
• "What have you already tried?"
• "If she had more help, like a private aide for part of the day, could she stay?"
• "Can we hold a care conference with the nurse, her doctor and our family?"

Sometimes there is a way to stay. Families have kept a parent in place by adding private-duty help, changing the care plan, or moving to a higher level of care in the same building.

If the reason is behavior, ask for a medical review

New aggression, agitation or refusing care can have a cause that can be treated. Pain, an infection, poor sleep, or a new medication or dose can all change how a person with dementia acts. Ask her doctor or the community nurse to look for anything new and to review her medications. Medicare.gov notes that antipsychotic drugs carry health risks and can be unnecessarily sedating, and it suggests non-drug approaches, like music or activities she enjoys. Ask about those too. Leave medication changes to her doctor.

You can say:

"Before she has to move, can her doctor see her and review her medications? We'd like to rule out a medical cause."

Assisted living and nursing homes follow different rules

Assisted living and memory care

Assisted living is licensed and regulated by each state. Each state decides how much notice a community must give, which reasons are allowed, and whether there is a way to appeal. The contract can add terms of its own. To learn your state's rules:

• Open your state's assisted living guide on Lilisity, such as the one for Ohio or Texas. Each guide names the state licensing agency and lists the ombudsman's phone number and the line for filing a complaint.
• Call the ombudsman and ask: "What notice does the law in this state require for an assisted living move-out, and is there a way to appeal?"
• If the community skipped required steps, you can file a complaint with the state licensing agency.

Nursing homes

Nursing homes that take Medicare or Medicaid follow federal rules at 42 CFR 483.15. They can transfer or discharge a resident only when:

1. The resident's needs can't be met there and the move is needed for the resident's welfare
2. The resident's health has improved enough that they no longer need nursing home care
3. The resident's clinical or behavioral condition endangers the safety of others in the facility
4. The health of others in the facility would otherwise be endangered
5. The bill hasn't been paid after reasonable notice
6. The facility is closing

The nursing home must give written notice to the resident and their representative, in a language they understand, and send a copy to the ombudsman. The notice must give the reason, the date, where the resident is going, how to appeal and how to reach the ombudsman. In most cases it must come at least 30 days ahead. Shorter notice is allowed in some cases, such as when others' safety or health is at risk, when the resident has an urgent medical need, or when the resident has lived there less than 30 days.

If the resident appeals, the nursing home generally can't discharge them while the appeal is pending. The exception is when staying would endanger the health or safety of the resident or others, and the facility must document that danger. Medicare.gov says the steps vary by state, but in most cases you send the appeal request to the state and a state administrative law judge holds the hearing.

"They won't take Dad back after the hospital"

This version often starts with a call from the hospital. Dad went to the emergency room after a fall, and now the assisted living says he can't come back.

In assisted living, coming back after a hospital stay depends on state rules and the contract. Ask the community:

• "Is this a discharge? If so, please send me the written notice."
• "What would he need to be able to come back?"
• "Can your nurse come and assess him at the hospital?"

Tell the hospital case manager right away so they can help arrange rehab or a new place. If the plan you're offered doesn't seem safe, say so. Our post on unsafe discharges has the words to use.

If Dad needs rehab first, Medicare covers skilled nursing facility care only after an inpatient hospital stay of at least 3 days in a row. Time under observation or in the emergency room before admission doesn't count, so ask the hospital whether he has been admitted as an inpatient.

Nursing homes have a federal rule for this. Before a resident goes to the hospital, the nursing home must give written information about its bed-hold policy, and it must follow a written policy on letting residents return. If the stay runs past the state's bed-hold period, a resident who still needs nursing home care and qualifies for Medicare or Medicaid coverage gets the first open bed in a semi-private room, or their old room if it's free. If the nursing home decides a resident can't come back, the full discharge rules apply, including notice and appeal.

Call the ombudsman early

Every state has a Long-Term Care Ombudsman Program. Ombudsmen advocate for residents of nursing homes, assisted living and board and care homes, and their services are free and confidential. They can explain your state's rules, go over the notice with you and speak with the community for your parent. Find yours through the National Long-Term Care Ombudsman Resource Center or on your state's guide on Lilisity.

If you think the move breaks the rules, or the community won't follow them, ask the ombudsman about free legal help in your area, or talk with an elder law attorney.

Look for the next place while you push back

Start looking now, even if you plan to challenge the notice, so you won't have to choose in a rush.

Tell each new place the whole story, so they can say honestly whether they can care for him. Ask each one:

• "What behaviors can you handle, and what would make you ask him to leave?"
• "How many staff are on his unit at night?"
• "Have you cared for someone with needs like his?"

On Lilisity you can:

• Search by city or ZIP and type of care, such as memory care or nursing home.
• Check each community's state license and inspection history. Ask about any citations for care or staffing.
• For nursing homes, see the CMS star ratings for overall quality, health inspections and staffing, and whether the home is certified for Medicare and Medicaid.
• Read our guides to memory care and nursing homes, and our list of questions to ask on a tour.

If your parent now needs more care than assisted living can give, ask the doctor and the nurse which level of care to look for.

Sources