8 Assisted Living Tour Questions From 22,911 Real Concerns

Lilisity · September 28, 2026

Most tour question lists are written by people imagining what might go wrong. This one comes from people who live it.

Senior Living Alliance, which operates Lilisity, interviews residents and family members by phone. Between September 2025 and September 2026, those recorded interviews covered 16,397 surveys. Most people were happy: about 86% rated their community 4 or 5 stars. But when people did raise a concern, we logged it. There were 22,911 of them.

Here's how those concerns broke down:

So we wrote one tour question for each area, in order of how often it came up. For each, here's what a good answer tends to sound like, and what should make you pause.

1. Dining: "Can I come back and eat a meal here, unannounced?"

Dining was the single most common concern, at nearly a quarter of everything people raised. And a big theme wasn't simply "the food is bad." It was inconsistency: great one day, cold or bland the next.

A good answer: "Of course. Lunch is 11:30 to 1. Just check in at the front desk." Bonus points if they hand you this week's menu and tell you how residents give feedback on it (a food committee, a comment card, a chef who walks the room).

Red flag: "We'd prefer you schedule that with me," or steering you only to a staged tasting. Also watch the dining room on your visit: are plates coming out hot? Is anyone waiting a long time?

2. Housekeeping: "How is laundry labeled and tracked, and what happens when something goes missing?"

Housekeeping concerns split between cleaning that isn't thorough and laundry that goes missing or ends up in someone else's closet.

A good answer: A specific system. "Everything gets labeled at move-in. Laundry goes out and comes back on set days. If something is missing, tell the housekeeping supervisor and we check the lost-and-found within a day." Ask how often apartments are cleaned and what's included.

Red flag: "Oh, that never happens here." It happens everywhere. You want to hear how they fix it.

3. Communication: "Who is my main contact, and how often will I hear from them?"

Engagement and management communication made up 15% of concerns: not hearing back, not knowing who to call, a revolving door of managers, promises that weren't followed through.

A good answer: A name and a routine. "Your contact is the resident care director. You'll get a call after the first week, then at every care plan review. Here's her direct line and email." Ask how long the executive director and care director have been there.

Red flag: "Just call the front desk." Also listen for vagueness about turnover. If three people on your tour are "new here," ask why.

4. Value: "Can you walk me through exactly what's included in the monthly rate, and what costs extra?"

Value for money was 13% of concerns overall, and it was the most-cited concern in our interviews with residents and families who had moved out.

A good answer: A written list. What's in the base rate, how care levels are assessed and priced, what triggers a reassessment, what extras cost (medication help, extra showers, meal delivery to the room, escorts to appointments), and how much rates have gone up the last few years.

Red flag: "It depends, we'll figure that out after the assessment," with nothing in writing. You should never have to guess what next month's bill will be.

5. Care: "If something changes with my mom, a fall, a new medication, a bad day, who calls me and how fast?"

Care concerns (13%) centered on communication with family, attentiveness, medication management, and responsiveness. In other words, families want to know what's happening without having to chase it.

A good answer: Clear rules. "Any fall, any ER visit, any medication change, you get a call from the nurse the same day." Ask who handles medications, how errors are caught, and how quickly call buttons are answered.

Red flag: "We'll let you know if it's anything serious." Who decides what's serious?

6. Maintenance: "If a light goes out or a toilet runs, how do residents report it, and how long does a fix usually take?"

Maintenance concerns (9.5%) were mostly about slow response. A running toilet or a broken blind can wait a day. A broken grab bar can't.

A good answer: "Residents or family can put in a request at the desk or by phone. Urgent safety issues are same day; others are usually within a couple of days." Even better if they track requests.

Red flag: No system at all, or "just tell anyone you see."

7. Activities: "What's on the calendar this week, and what do you do for someone who won't come out of their room?"

Activity concerns (8%) weren't only about too few activities. People also talked about variety, and about encouragement to join. A calendar full of bingo doesn't help someone who's shy, grieving, or new.

A good answer: They show you this week's calendar, and they have a real answer for the reluctant resident: "Our life enrichment staff visit new residents one on one and invite them personally. We learn what they used to love."

Red flag: "There's plenty to do, it's up to them." That's often how people end up isolated.

8. Transportation: "How far in advance do we need to book a ride to a doctor, and what about trips that aren't medical?"

Transportation was the smallest category, at 2.7%, but for a resident who no longer drives, it can shape their whole week. Concerns were about flexibility and availability.

A good answer: Specific days, hours, and distances, what's included, and what costs extra. "Medical appointments within 10 miles, Monday through Friday, book 48 hours ahead. Shopping trips on Tuesdays."

Red flag: "We have a bus," without a schedule.

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• Can I come back and eat a meal here, unannounced?
• How is laundry labeled and tracked, and what happens when something goes missing?
• Who is my main contact, and how often will I hear from them?
• What exactly is included in the monthly rate, and what costs extra?
• If something changes with my parent, who calls me and how fast?
• How are repairs reported, and how long do they usually take?
• What's on this week's calendar, and how do you engage someone who stays in their room?
• How far ahead do we book rides, and what about non-medical trips?

What the good places have in common

It's worth ending on the positive side of the same interviews. When residents and families gave approved positive testimonials, 83% mentioned staff, 67% mentioned management, and 67% mentioned feeling safe. Buildings and amenities matter, but people remember people.

So as you tour, watch how staff talk to residents when they think no one important is looking. That's the answer to a question you don't have to ask.

Hear it from the people who live there

A tour shows you a community on its best day. Reviews from residents fill in the rest. On Lilisity, which is free for families, every review comes from a recorded phone interview with a resident or family member, published in their own words, including critical ones. Compare communities near your parent, then take these eight questions with you. Read how we verify reviews.

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